FAQ
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Rating: +1
Talk like a Physicist? Come on.. that’s silly!
Yes, it is silly. And that’s exactly the point. It is silly, whimsical and funny. It is a perfect occasion for non-physicists to laugh at the Physicists and for physicists to find out how silly they really are.
We could go on and say that there is an educational value to “talking like a physicist” and that people are losing the art of being a physicist, but we are going to save those arguments when we apply for a $2B grant from the NSF. That’s all BS.
Yes, you are right, Talk Like A Physicist Day is silly… Next question please.
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Rating: +5
What have Physicists done for me?
There are two MAJOR inventions that Physicists are responsible for:
(i) The remote control for your TV. Imagine your life without the remote control, it would suck, wouldn’t it?
(ii) One word : Elevators! Yes, physicists invented those.There are other non-essential things that physicists have been credited with; like airplanes, cars, radio, microwave ovens, satellites, GPS, phones, LCD, DVDs, among others.
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Rating: -5
When is the Talk Like A Physicist Day?
March 14th. 2008+n, where n is an integer and n > 0.
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Rating: +6
Why March 14?
Because:
March 14th is the Einstein’s birthday
March 14 (also written as 3.14 in US, is the international Pi Day) -
Rating: +3
But I only know how to talk like a Pirate!
Trust us, Physicists are way cooler. Pirates are, well, pirates. What they do is completely illegal; it is just a matter of time before they are caught and get 25-30 yrs in federal prison.
On the other hand, physicists are all about following the laws. The laws of gravity - yes, physicists always follow it. Newton’s law? Physicists follow it most of the time. The laws of intertia - yes.
In our 400 years of doing physics, we have never gotten a ticket for going faster than the speed of light!
We’ll teach you how to talk like a physicist in no time.
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Rating: +1
Yes, I want to become a physicist, what do I need?
We are all physicists by nature. Some of us are physicists by training, some of us are physicists by trade, some of us are intuitive physicists, some of us are accidental physicists and others are survival physicists.
So you don’t need anything special; you already are a physicist; you already walk the walk, now we just need to teach you how to talk the talk.
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Rating: +8
How do I talk like a Physicist?
We are going to walk you through a typical day of a physicist. That will help you learn what to say at different occasions.
Physicists never sleep enough, so on the 14th March, try to get up a bit early.
Never say “I didn’t sleep enough” - correct way to say it is “It was observed that my sleep duration was less than average.”
or
(In Plank units), “I have a sleep deficiency of about ten to the power 47. which is about half an hour.If you have trouble getting out of bed, always blame it on “law of inertia”.
Don’t say that “you are going to brush your teeth”; instead “I am going to apply the force of friction to overcome the electrical bonds between my teeth and foreign matter.”
NEVER look at an electrical wire as just an electrical wire - always think of dancing electrons with the wire. Think of each of the electron pushing the other electrons to get the electrical current flowing.
When a mere mortal is asked a question “Can a pig fly?” typically his/her answerer is “No.”
However a physicist will respond as follows:
“They could if there was no gravity, or in interstellar space, or if they had wings, or if they were dropped off a cliff (though it would be a short flight). Generally the answer is NO.”Rule: think of improbable ways a statement could be true and then at the end make sure to say “generally the answer is No/yes”.
Here is another example:
Q: two trains are a approaching each other at 40 mph and are 8 miles apart, when will they cross each other? An untrained person would say “in about 6 minutes”.
A physicist would respond as:
If the trains are on the same track, they will not cross each other but run in to each other; when you say approaching each other, are the trains engines facing each other? they could go around the world and then cross each other, but for that I need to know the location of the trains. Also, I need to know the lengths of each of the trains to accurately calculate this, but in a trivially simple situation, the trains will cross each other in 6 minutes.Again, make sure that the correct answer is always present at the end.
Here are some other examples:
Use terms like “orders of magnitude” to describe significant differences of scale.
When something is small, say it is “negligible” non-zero, but negligible.
If it is really really small, say it is infinitesimal.For a physicist, nothing is Ever hard or difficult - it is always “non-trivial”
Other good words to add to your vocabulary:
Discontinuity
Renormalize
Positive and negative work
God Particle
Dark Energy
Space-time continuumMore examples coming soon - please use the form below to request assistance with a specific situataion.
Sources: http://moderatelyinsane.blogspot.com/
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Rating: +2
Do I need to change my name or do I need a nickname to sound like a Physicist?
No. If you have a nick-name, no body will take you seriously.
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Rating: +2
What do I wear for the Talk Like a Physicist Day?
As a physicist, the first thing you need to learn to do is to listen and pay attention to all the signals that your senses give you. This is a TALK like a physicist day - not a LOOK like a physicist day. Moreover, physicists are not some sort of outcasts, we all look like regular people. So if you want to really look like a physicist, you can just wear regular clothes.
However, if you must, you can wear one of those “Thursday threads” t-shirts.
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Rating: +5
Do I need to carry any props to look and talk like a Physicist?
You don’t really need them; you can do a lot of hand waving when you talk, that’s normally enough. But if you’d like to do more:
(i) Carry a lot of (used) envelopes and do all your writing on the back of the envelopes. In highly technical terms, it is called “doing a back of the envelope calculation.” It doesn’t have to be right, or even close. It just has to fit within the back of the envelope.
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Rating: +5
Have you heard about ” A physicist, an engineer and a mathmatician…”
Yes, we have heard them all. You can find some more of them on the blog in the Physics Humor section, and yes, the physicist did the right thing.
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Rating: +6
What happened to the Schroedinger’s cat? How many cats have been sacrificed to test that theory?
No cats are harmed during Schroedinger’s cat experiments.
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Rating: +1
Are there any Physics Songs?
You mean, you have never heard of
Rudolph the bright red photon?
Yes, yes, yes, there are 100’s of physics songs.
Don’t forget the Physics Rap song.
See here!http://www.haverford.edu/physics/songs/
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Rating: -1
Can Kids participate too?
Kids make the best physicists because their minds are not constrained by this silly thing called “common sense” that adults acquire.
Here are some physics songs for kids.
http://www.kidsknowit.com/educational-songs/index.php?topic=Physics -
Rating: +7
Are there any pickup lines that Physicists use?
yes. Enterprising physicists have been trying to come up with good pick-up lines since the time of Newton. Here are some examples.
Please note that the chances of any of these pick-up lines ever working is infinitesimal.
Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion.
I know the spring constant of my mattress. Wanna take some data?
You’re more special than relativity
You and Me = Grand Unification
