How to catch a lion in Sahara’s dessert
I know, these are really really really old jokes; but I have very fond memories of them.
# Theoretical Physics Methods
1. The Schrödinger method
At every instant there is a non-zero probability of the lion being in the cage. Sit and wait.
2. The nuclear physics method
Insert a tame lion into the cage and apply a Majorana exchange operator [6] on it and a wild lion.
As a variant let us assume that we would like to catch (for argument’s sake) a male lion. We insert a tame female lion into the cage and apply the Heisenberg exchange operator [7], exchanging spins.
3. A relativistic method
All over the desert we distribute lion bait containing large amounts of the companion star of Sirius. After enough of the bait has been eaten we send a beam of light through the desert. This will curl around the lion so it gets all confused and can be approached without danger.
# Experimental Physics Methods
1. The thermodynamics method
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which lets everything but lions pass through. This we drag across the desert.
2. The atomic fission method
We irradiate the desert with slow neutrons. The lion becomes radioactive and starts to disintegrate. Once the disintegration process is progressed far enough the lion will be unable to resist.
3. The magneto-optical method
We plant a large, lense shaped field with cat mint (nepeta cataria) such that its axis is parallel to the direction of the horizontal component of the earth’s magnetic field. We put the cage in one of the field’s foci. Throughout the desert we distribute large amounts of magnetized spinach (spinacia oleracea) which has, as everybody knows, a high iron content. The spinach is eaten by vegetarian desert inhabitants which in turn are eaten by the lions. Afterwards the lions are oriented parallel to the earth’s magnetic field and the resulting lion beam is focussed on the cage by the cat mint lense.
I even made some up when the supersymmetry first came in to fashion and of course there were jokes about catching a lion using the String Theory!
There was the one where you are supposed to aim the Hubble on the Sahara dessert, take a deep field image and then spend a year analyzing it to find the lion.
What is your method of catching a lion in Sahara Dessert?
Here is a picture of physicists looking for a lion in Sahara’s dessert:
